3 Interesting Tips to Clean & Organize around a roommate (or partner)

I’m not talking to you if you have kids cause these gremlins consistently don’t respect our boundaries.

This is for you if you’re learning to live with roommates or a partner. This is how I’ve always approached living with others.

And I’m someone who lived with over 100 people in my short 32 years of life so… lol

You give your power away when what you do is determined by what someone does or doesn’t do.

If you spend the next 30 days checking your values, breaking piles down, and habit-checking 🔁 you’ll be so focused on the work required to change you won’t even notice what they’re doing.

What is Moderately Severe Clutter anyway?

If you have large piles, bins, or boxes full of things, you have moderately severe clutter. You’ve started the process of decluttering and organized the best way you know how. So if it still doesn’t feel organized or it feels incomplete, keep reading. For you to get and stay organized, i’ts going to require you to follow through with your plans even if everything isn’t perfect.

Having moderately severe clutter also means your efforts are swayed by someone’s inaction. So, maybe you’re waiting for someone to organize their part of the house or get rid of some things that are in your way. That’s why your focus shold only be on what you have control over.

With that said, here’s your first Spring Cleaning microtask:

Spring Cleaning Microtask #1

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List your core values

There’s different situations that’s gonna test your values and boundaries. Being in an environment that challenges your organizing desires and cleaning habits is no different. So, it's gonna be up to you to enforce them (with yourself). Instead of trying to manage someone else’s mess and focus on how they benefit from your efforts, try this:

List your core values and non-negotiables when it comes to home. See your cleaning/organizing efforts as part of the value system you’d follow despite someone’s presence or actions. When or if you feel disrespected, taken advantage of, or frustrated with their habits, knowing your values is what’s going to ground and help you to uphold your own boundaries in the house.

Spring Cleaning Microtask #2

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Break one pile down

If you’re not dealing with a garage or a storage unit, large bins don’t work for daily usage. So, the bigger the bin, the harder it’s going to be to manage and keep organized. For example, instead of trying to declutter your entire wardrobe to end up with large unfinished piles everywhere or large bins of clothes, do this instead:

Choose one large pile to break down into a smaller pile. Then pick one category within that larger pile (jeans, t-shirts, hoodies, etc) to purge. Depending on how many clothes you have or how large the category (clothes) is, you’ll need to keep doing this until the piles and bins get smaller.

Spring Cleaning Microtask #3

Get real about your daily habits

Its easier to look see what someone else is doing wrong or could do better. If you’re sharing a space, you may have pointed fingers at your partner, roommates, or kids. And you’re probably right. I’m definitely not gonna sit here and say sharing space is easy or that housework is equitable. However, we can’t control what other people do or don’t do, so instead try:

Consider your habits that are creating clutter and uncleanliness in the first place. What’s one thing you consistently do/don’t do that keeps your home in a state of mess? You’re not going to go from 0 to 60 with a bunch of organizing hacks and resenting your housemates for not thinking about the home the way you do. Nothing will happen. But focusing your own habits will help right now.

Enforcing boundaries

For now, never mind what your roommate or partner isn’t doing! You should be so consumed with learning, understanding, and improving your own habits you shouldn’t have time to mind someone else’s mess. This will allow you to get comfortable with what you will and will not stand FROM YOURSELF.

Those are the boundaries that will stick in this space and the next so all isn’t lost. You also become an inspiration for those around you, either encouraging them to follow suit OR respectfully severing ties if things don’t change. I encourage you to give grace to your housemates and have conversations over and over and over again. And there comes a point when

Why Gina Waters-Payne?

Learning to live with a roommate or a partner is an entire journey on its own. I love thinking about Gina from Martin because they never had children and cohabitated for the entire duration of their relationship. There’s not a lot of depictions of cohabitation on television. And Martin is just a classic. Its just as much about Gina, as it is about the constant negotiation and learning after we leave our parents or college and get a place of our own.

Conclusion

The more you look inward at what you’re doing in your home, the quicker you can realize your home goals. So if have moderately severe clutter which means you have large piles, bins, or boxes full of things. Or organizing is conditional, I can do y once someone does x, these tips are for you:

• List your core values- so when you’re frustrated with someone, you’re clear on why YOU’RE doing things

• Break one pile down- so you can get a better sense of your things by zooming in

• Get real about your daily habits- so you can reel in what you’re doing that’s preventing the space you want

If you found these microtasks helpful, pin it and share it with your people! If this breakdown was inspiring or insightful. And if you want to learn more about what it means to have moderately severe clutter, take my free quiz Homebody Archetype.

Hey you, I’m Rebekah

I'm a home therapist or professional organizer lol. And I’m a proud member of your home goals support system.

 I create home-organizing tools for women who want to break generational curses. I help them declutter with intention so they can create a safe home. I’m on a personal mission to help Black women and families (me and mines included) have more structure, order, and peace in our homes. Welcome to the revolution.

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